Thursday, November 25, 2010
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
MEN WILL BE MEN :))
Life is never that so called bed of roses, if you get even one night on that provable bed than I am sure you had really worked hard towards it. Relations are fragile, if you tend them with care they take care of you in process. Men and women are definitely from different planets; so two aliens making a life together do pose some threats and some comic situations in a lifetime together.
Here are few things which you must know if you are not married and you may already know if you are!
The only thing men want is never to grow:(
Rest is all tantrums thrown to get what they want:))
· One fine night when you wake up shivering and see him wrapping your side of the blanket, his side dangling down the bed, you are right; instead of pulling his side he conveniently pulled yours and is sleeping blissfully.
· In the middle of the night he wakes you up and asks for a glass of water. So what if you were in a deep sleep?
· No wonder you come running when you hear him shouting from the bathroom, asking for towel. No matter how many times you tell him to take when going for bath, he will always forget.
· After a hectic morning when you start setting the house in order don’t be surprised to see his underwear and wet towel either on bed or floor. Mind it; it will remain same even after warnings and agitations from your side.:
· Send him to get vegetables; and find cucumbers, onions, carrots, lemon and radish….nothing to cook only salad for the dinner, but how many times?
· You are in mood of watching a film in theater? Either you need a persistent will power or you simply have to forget that after few trails. He will always say –No, he is not interested in movies but watch five movies in a go on television!
· Look at his face when he is admiring the eggplant curry at friend’s place, as if he is in total bliss and now try to make the same at your home; if looks could kill you are dead for sure!
· He will take hours to read the newspaper either in bathroom or in bedroom and when you talk about an interesting news clip on the main page he will look surprised. Where? How did I miss it?
· You come out all decked up and flash you million dollar smile, he will look at watch and push you towards car without noticing what you are wearing or how you are looking! But…but he will always admire that female who was wearing the backless choli or saree below the navel!
· If you are wary of fights then please keep silence, he loves that, and as it is he never listens what you are talking.
· If he is in real fighting mood your whole family is included in that fight, you are right we too include his family but we are restricted to only one member but he involves all, virtually I mean!
· And if he loves singing, then you are going to have it, you will keep running to shut windows and doors so that neighbors sleep in peace.
· Moods play a vital role; only for him. You have to sulk when he is sad, and you have to smile when he is happy.
· You are not well, so want to avoid cooking, he will lecture on the harmful effects of outside food and compromise on bread omelet, but when you have cooked a full pledged dinner he drags you to the finest joint to enjoy dinner.
· Ask him how many drinks he have had, it is always two, and if he is still drinking then it is always second.
The list is long…..hope you also add some more points which I missed…
At the end of the day when you lie down on the bed, he slowly pulls you towards him and keeping your head on his chest you sleep blissfully…forgetting everything, or in the morning the aroma of leaf tea wakes you up and he hands over a cup of hot steaming tea…life seems perfect..
Go to <a title="Check out Men's T Shirts" href="http://www.myntra.com/"
target="_blank">www.myntra.com</a> and check out t shirts for men! Also visit the
<a title="Largest Community of Indian Bloggers" href="http://www.blogadda.com/"
target="_blank">largest community of Indian Bloggers</a> at <a title="BlogAdda.com"
href="http://www.blogadda.com/" target="_blank">BlogAdda.com</a>
Life is never that so called bed of roses, if you get even one night on that provable bed than I am sure you had really worked hard towards it. Relations are fragile, if you tend them with care they take care of you in process. Men and women are definitely from different planets; so two aliens making a life together do pose some threats and some comic situations in a lifetime together.
Here are few things which you must know if you are not married and you may already know if you are!
The only thing men want is never to grow:(
Rest is all tantrums thrown to get what they want:))
· One fine night when you wake up shivering and see him wrapping your side of the blanket, his side dangling down the bed, you are right; instead of pulling his side he conveniently pulled yours and is sleeping blissfully.
· In the middle of the night he wakes you up and asks for a glass of water. So what if you were in a deep sleep?
· No wonder you come running when you hear him shouting from the bathroom, asking for towel. No matter how many times you tell him to take when going for bath, he will always forget.
· After a hectic morning when you start setting the house in order don’t be surprised to see his underwear and wet towel either on bed or floor. Mind it; it will remain same even after warnings and agitations from your side.:
· Send him to get vegetables; and find cucumbers, onions, carrots, lemon and radish….nothing to cook only salad for the dinner, but how many times?
· You are in mood of watching a film in theater? Either you need a persistent will power or you simply have to forget that after few trails. He will always say –No, he is not interested in movies but watch five movies in a go on television!
· Look at his face when he is admiring the eggplant curry at friend’s place, as if he is in total bliss and now try to make the same at your home; if looks could kill you are dead for sure!
· He will take hours to read the newspaper either in bathroom or in bedroom and when you talk about an interesting news clip on the main page he will look surprised. Where? How did I miss it?
· You come out all decked up and flash you million dollar smile, he will look at watch and push you towards car without noticing what you are wearing or how you are looking! But…but he will always admire that female who was wearing the backless choli or saree below the navel!
· If you are wary of fights then please keep silence, he loves that, and as it is he never listens what you are talking.
· If he is in real fighting mood your whole family is included in that fight, you are right we too include his family but we are restricted to only one member but he involves all, virtually I mean!
· And if he loves singing, then you are going to have it, you will keep running to shut windows and doors so that neighbors sleep in peace.
· Moods play a vital role; only for him. You have to sulk when he is sad, and you have to smile when he is happy.
· You are not well, so want to avoid cooking, he will lecture on the harmful effects of outside food and compromise on bread omelet, but when you have cooked a full pledged dinner he drags you to the finest joint to enjoy dinner.
· Ask him how many drinks he have had, it is always two, and if he is still drinking then it is always second.
The list is long…..hope you also add some more points which I missed…
At the end of the day when you lie down on the bed, he slowly pulls you towards him and keeping your head on his chest you sleep blissfully…forgetting everything, or in the morning the aroma of leaf tea wakes you up and he hands over a cup of hot steaming tea…life seems perfect..
Go to <a title="Check out Men's T Shirts" href="http://www.myntra.com/"
target="_blank">www.myntra.com</a> and check out t shirts for men! Also visit the
<a title="Largest Community of Indian Bloggers" href="http://www.blogadda.com/"
target="_blank">largest community of Indian Bloggers</a> at <a title="BlogAdda.com"
href="http://www.blogadda.com/" target="_blank">BlogAdda.com</a>
Monday, October 18, 2010
At The End Of The Rainbow
Memories …..Flick like pages of that big fat Fairy Tales book where all fantasies of a child comes true. That was the starting point of rainbow which grew more bright and colorful in the process of its journey. It was perfect and life seemed absolutely cool and in order.
It was a huge place with high ceiling and numerous rooms where four of us grew from cry babies to wildest kids. Being the eldest I had my own den where two single beds were put to accommodate me and my sister. But I never remember a day when we slept there. After hearing all the ghost stories from our grandma we never felt courageous enough to sleep there alone. So it was in the huge room where grandma slept on a bed and four of us on one Diwan.
The youngest was the ugly duckling who wore specs on her boy cut hair style, which was shabby because mom was particular about a girlish style and she was a hardcore tom boy who never allowed to grow her hair; result was oily, spiky and a weird hairdo. She hardly used to see through her glasses because those never used to stay at proper place instead she peeped above them and smiled a toothless grin and looked horrible in her shirts and shorts. (I hope she will not read this Varna meri khair nahi)Her best was when she was in nursery. Once she came from school all excited with that silly grin and opened her box. (It was not a bag but a aluminum box those days) throwing her single notebook and book which looked damp and little orangish: she was in utter shock. With a howl she shouted “someone has taken my ice-creammmmmmmmmmmm, chor chorrrrrrrrrr’
We were surprised ice cream in the bag?
‘Yes, she said sadly, she wanted to have that orange bar at home and now was shocked to found only the stick there!!!!
Number two was called 007 because she used to transit all the latest news items, gossip and complaints of each other on dinning table with such innocence that no one ever believed that her master brain was behind all the devilish deeds. She was the fastest cycle peddler, who would cycle for hours in her ‘Kenchi’ style because her height did not permit her to ride that properly. She was the fastest tree climber too who could gather heaps of ‘Katare’ from two huge trees on the premises. There was always salt and chilly powder with raw tamarind under her frock belt and god knows how she managed to eat that while riding a bicycle! She was the quietest attacker who was master in shouting the most, without even getting hurt in the battle of four soldiers. She played Sitar and Tabla beautifully and always thought herself as the star of the family, which we never acknowledged then simply because we were jealous!
Number three was an attacker, who never got any advantage of being the only boy in the family. Rough and tough! Once he came silently and stood in front of mom who was working on sewing machine. After standing there for few minutes when he did not get any attention he declared “Mom please don’t look at me, I am a little hurt but don’t shout at me.’ Hearing this when mom looked at him; she fainted. He was bleeding profusely. We called dad and he was taken to hospital and got five stitches on his forehead! He had a weird habit; whatever he got to eat he used to hide that and when we all finished our share he used to take that out and eat with a mean smile. I must confess that we really used to look at him like hungry dogs! This toughfy was a scene whenever mom went to anywhere for night; he always held her saree close by and cried silently! His best was wearing a Duppata as skirt in Zeenat Aman style and dancing on the tunes of ‘Bhoar Bhaiye Panghat Pe Mohe Natkhat Shyam Sataye"!
Once Agra was flooded badly and our building was on the banks of river Jumuna. It was like an adventure for few days. We were staying on the first floor and factory was on the ground floor. Being a carpet factory hundreds of looms were there. When slowly water started rising up dad panicked but nothing could be done as whole of the looms were under water. There was no sign of ground or road. Everywhere was water. Mom and dad were in grave tension but being the head of the company he could not leave the premises. One fine morning when situation became dangerously grave army was called for rescue. They insisted to vacate the building as it was not safe. We climbed through the balcony and taken to dry areas in army boats. We saw a boat capturing nearby but mom hugged us closely while chanting Hanuman Chalisa and we were watching people crying, shouting everywhere. We were small and could not realize the gravity of situation but mom was sick for days and she had an acute phobia of water for many days!
My school was nearby and whenever a rainy day was declared whole gang of girls used to come to my house and we were treated with hot Pakoras and Chai. Dancing on the tunes of Boney M and ABBA in the huge drawing room under the chandelier we lived many great moments of our life.
Every moment of that sweet and sour journey was etched on the memory and it always used to stir something inside, making me nostalgic. When after many years my sister came to visit Delhi we planned to visit Agra too. She had some work in the university and we decide to visit our school and old home too. Being a vacation time there was no one there but a kind watchman let us in. It was going back to a moment where we enjoyed most and had the greatest fun plus the education. Strangely the school building looked so small, maybe sprawling schools of our kids broadened our vision? Or when we were small everything looked so huge and big? Touching the school bell, going to the classes were we spend many years was like living a dream. With heavy heart and moist eyes we promised that we will visit it again with our kids someday.
Most amazing experience was going back to the house where our childhood was lurking from every nook and corner. The proud building was almost on the verge of falling. Huge gate was closed and a watchman was sitting there like old times. He was surprised to see the visitors but opened the gate for us. When we told him that we resided there long back he generously offered to escort us to the ruins to ward off the monkeys who had made it their residence now. Walking on the ruins was like walking on the dead dreams. The house which was bursting with energy and laughter was quite and an eerie silence was everywhere. Most of the parts were destroyed and the pungent smell was repulsive. With so much pain and disturbance we kept on moving to every room. It looked haunted and gloomy. We stood there silently with so much of sadness to see that destruction. Watchman told us that a builder is starting work here and huge residential flats were coming up soon. Maybe after few years this place again comeback to life.
It was a lesson that, never go back to the time where you spent the most cherished moments of life. Nothing stays or stops; life is the name of flow and only that moment is true which you lived. The end of the rainbow held no magic, only magic is in what you lived in that moment.
“Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure.”
So for me ‘’ I’d rather have a moment of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special.”
Buy Official
href="http://www.myntra.com" target="_blank">Cricket and Football jerseys
online at
Myntra.com and visit the
href="http://www.blogadda.com" target="_blank">largest community of Indian
Bloggers at
target="_blank">BlogAdda.com
It was a huge place with high ceiling and numerous rooms where four of us grew from cry babies to wildest kids. Being the eldest I had my own den where two single beds were put to accommodate me and my sister. But I never remember a day when we slept there. After hearing all the ghost stories from our grandma we never felt courageous enough to sleep there alone. So it was in the huge room where grandma slept on a bed and four of us on one Diwan.
The youngest was the ugly duckling who wore specs on her boy cut hair style, which was shabby because mom was particular about a girlish style and she was a hardcore tom boy who never allowed to grow her hair; result was oily, spiky and a weird hairdo. She hardly used to see through her glasses because those never used to stay at proper place instead she peeped above them and smiled a toothless grin and looked horrible in her shirts and shorts. (I hope she will not read this Varna meri khair nahi)Her best was when she was in nursery. Once she came from school all excited with that silly grin and opened her box. (It was not a bag but a aluminum box those days) throwing her single notebook and book which looked damp and little orangish: she was in utter shock. With a howl she shouted “someone has taken my ice-creammmmmmmmmmmm, chor chorrrrrrrrrr’
We were surprised ice cream in the bag?
‘Yes, she said sadly, she wanted to have that orange bar at home and now was shocked to found only the stick there!!!!
Number two was called 007 because she used to transit all the latest news items, gossip and complaints of each other on dinning table with such innocence that no one ever believed that her master brain was behind all the devilish deeds. She was the fastest cycle peddler, who would cycle for hours in her ‘Kenchi’ style because her height did not permit her to ride that properly. She was the fastest tree climber too who could gather heaps of ‘Katare’ from two huge trees on the premises. There was always salt and chilly powder with raw tamarind under her frock belt and god knows how she managed to eat that while riding a bicycle! She was the quietest attacker who was master in shouting the most, without even getting hurt in the battle of four soldiers. She played Sitar and Tabla beautifully and always thought herself as the star of the family, which we never acknowledged then simply because we were jealous!
Number three was an attacker, who never got any advantage of being the only boy in the family. Rough and tough! Once he came silently and stood in front of mom who was working on sewing machine. After standing there for few minutes when he did not get any attention he declared “Mom please don’t look at me, I am a little hurt but don’t shout at me.’ Hearing this when mom looked at him; she fainted. He was bleeding profusely. We called dad and he was taken to hospital and got five stitches on his forehead! He had a weird habit; whatever he got to eat he used to hide that and when we all finished our share he used to take that out and eat with a mean smile. I must confess that we really used to look at him like hungry dogs! This toughfy was a scene whenever mom went to anywhere for night; he always held her saree close by and cried silently! His best was wearing a Duppata as skirt in Zeenat Aman style and dancing on the tunes of ‘Bhoar Bhaiye Panghat Pe Mohe Natkhat Shyam Sataye"!
Once Agra was flooded badly and our building was on the banks of river Jumuna. It was like an adventure for few days. We were staying on the first floor and factory was on the ground floor. Being a carpet factory hundreds of looms were there. When slowly water started rising up dad panicked but nothing could be done as whole of the looms were under water. There was no sign of ground or road. Everywhere was water. Mom and dad were in grave tension but being the head of the company he could not leave the premises. One fine morning when situation became dangerously grave army was called for rescue. They insisted to vacate the building as it was not safe. We climbed through the balcony and taken to dry areas in army boats. We saw a boat capturing nearby but mom hugged us closely while chanting Hanuman Chalisa and we were watching people crying, shouting everywhere. We were small and could not realize the gravity of situation but mom was sick for days and she had an acute phobia of water for many days!
My school was nearby and whenever a rainy day was declared whole gang of girls used to come to my house and we were treated with hot Pakoras and Chai. Dancing on the tunes of Boney M and ABBA in the huge drawing room under the chandelier we lived many great moments of our life.
Every moment of that sweet and sour journey was etched on the memory and it always used to stir something inside, making me nostalgic. When after many years my sister came to visit Delhi we planned to visit Agra too. She had some work in the university and we decide to visit our school and old home too. Being a vacation time there was no one there but a kind watchman let us in. It was going back to a moment where we enjoyed most and had the greatest fun plus the education. Strangely the school building looked so small, maybe sprawling schools of our kids broadened our vision? Or when we were small everything looked so huge and big? Touching the school bell, going to the classes were we spend many years was like living a dream. With heavy heart and moist eyes we promised that we will visit it again with our kids someday.
Most amazing experience was going back to the house where our childhood was lurking from every nook and corner. The proud building was almost on the verge of falling. Huge gate was closed and a watchman was sitting there like old times. He was surprised to see the visitors but opened the gate for us. When we told him that we resided there long back he generously offered to escort us to the ruins to ward off the monkeys who had made it their residence now. Walking on the ruins was like walking on the dead dreams. The house which was bursting with energy and laughter was quite and an eerie silence was everywhere. Most of the parts were destroyed and the pungent smell was repulsive. With so much pain and disturbance we kept on moving to every room. It looked haunted and gloomy. We stood there silently with so much of sadness to see that destruction. Watchman told us that a builder is starting work here and huge residential flats were coming up soon. Maybe after few years this place again comeback to life.
It was a lesson that, never go back to the time where you spent the most cherished moments of life. Nothing stays or stops; life is the name of flow and only that moment is true which you lived. The end of the rainbow held no magic, only magic is in what you lived in that moment.
“Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure.”
So for me ‘’ I’d rather have a moment of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special.”
Buy Official
href="http://www.myntra.com" target="_blank">Cricket and Football jerseys
online at
Myntra.com and visit the
href="http://www.blogadda.com" target="_blank">largest community of Indian
Bloggers at
target="_blank">BlogAdda.com
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
CAPTURED MEMORY SHOTS
Some very ordinary moments which cling to memory and lighten the darker moods instantly, are safe and secure in the vicinity of heart and mind. How beautifully and with perfection our mind takes the exposed snap shots and works with them in the dark studios of mind and produces a picture so perfect and live. No one can rob us from this precious treasure, nothing can give us elation of this kind and nowhere we can find such accurate details of our small happiest moments except in our memory shots.
I often wonder why we share our intimate details in blogs or any other public site. Why we write our fictions with so much of intensity? Why our fictions seize the imaginary element and instead start turning the pages of reality. So much so that sometimes even the writer gasps at the striking resemblance, of real life incidents, in that so called fiction. We usually smile and become non committal and shrug with the kind of ‘Just a word play’ expression. But playing with words are not so easy. It takes your breath away, it shatters you, and it makes you sad and happy in the same state of mind frames, it even snatches the reasoning and you start feeling jealous! Weird!! Jealousy of sharing the most important and valuable moment with faceless people but at the same time a security and assurance that you are amongst the ones who are like you at many points and can relate with you many times. The moments slips word by word from our hands but it is just like you immerse a divine idol after worshipping for many days, in the water. Is that moment lost? No, it stays in the time frame for ever, but like a huge art gallery where the masterpieces are on display with the painter’s name written on one side in small words. Your masterpieces find a place in gallery of hearts and live many times in other’s eyes. The secrets, pleasures, sins and confessions become shared responsibility instead of bearing a cross alone.
A hug devoid of any sin, a kiss that erupted in a spur of emotional outburst and spread like a cloud on the existence always lingers on memory and any time it can be pulled and re lived. Just closing the eyes and savoring the taste and even the sensation can be felt at any moment. Marvelous ways of mind to cheer the senses! Usually a writer values the time spent with a special person and subconsciously pours the feeling into his/ her writings. This might be the way to preserve the moment for ever? Or simply an incredible force to tell the world about the ecstasy and see the reaction from different set of readers?
These frozen moments are rare and can be cherished anytime. Everyone has his/her own way to capture those times and re-live. For a mother it maybe her child, for a teenager it might be her lover or parent or sibling, and so on. Relations wear off but the memories keep on thriving and multiplying.
WISH YOU ALL A VERY HAPPY, SAFE, PEACEFUL AND CREATIVE 2009.
Some very ordinary moments which cling to memory and lighten the darker moods instantly, are safe and secure in the vicinity of heart and mind. How beautifully and with perfection our mind takes the exposed snap shots and works with them in the dark studios of mind and produces a picture so perfect and live. No one can rob us from this precious treasure, nothing can give us elation of this kind and nowhere we can find such accurate details of our small happiest moments except in our memory shots.
I often wonder why we share our intimate details in blogs or any other public site. Why we write our fictions with so much of intensity? Why our fictions seize the imaginary element and instead start turning the pages of reality. So much so that sometimes even the writer gasps at the striking resemblance, of real life incidents, in that so called fiction. We usually smile and become non committal and shrug with the kind of ‘Just a word play’ expression. But playing with words are not so easy. It takes your breath away, it shatters you, and it makes you sad and happy in the same state of mind frames, it even snatches the reasoning and you start feeling jealous! Weird!! Jealousy of sharing the most important and valuable moment with faceless people but at the same time a security and assurance that you are amongst the ones who are like you at many points and can relate with you many times. The moments slips word by word from our hands but it is just like you immerse a divine idol after worshipping for many days, in the water. Is that moment lost? No, it stays in the time frame for ever, but like a huge art gallery where the masterpieces are on display with the painter’s name written on one side in small words. Your masterpieces find a place in gallery of hearts and live many times in other’s eyes. The secrets, pleasures, sins and confessions become shared responsibility instead of bearing a cross alone.
A hug devoid of any sin, a kiss that erupted in a spur of emotional outburst and spread like a cloud on the existence always lingers on memory and any time it can be pulled and re lived. Just closing the eyes and savoring the taste and even the sensation can be felt at any moment. Marvelous ways of mind to cheer the senses! Usually a writer values the time spent with a special person and subconsciously pours the feeling into his/ her writings. This might be the way to preserve the moment for ever? Or simply an incredible force to tell the world about the ecstasy and see the reaction from different set of readers?
These frozen moments are rare and can be cherished anytime. Everyone has his/her own way to capture those times and re-live. For a mother it maybe her child, for a teenager it might be her lover or parent or sibling, and so on. Relations wear off but the memories keep on thriving and multiplying.
WISH YOU ALL A VERY HAPPY, SAFE, PEACEFUL AND CREATIVE 2009.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
RAMBLING
RAMBLING
Strange are ways of mind, and strangest is the way we follow it despite of our so-called strong will. Most of the times like a puppet we dance, according to its tunes. Happy…elated…satiate...mind says and we really feel that. Sad, mad and bad mind warns and we believe that. Closing eyes to the most obvious things we let ourselves go and flow towards the rush of mind.
This piece has no significant reason to write and no pressure of writing the best, or no intention of gaining the attention. One of those blue moods when you want to talk, or just babble irrespective of whether some one is listening or not. Thoughts as simple and as complicated as they start rushing in and out. When everything seems so perfect and calm, a bolt of these thoughts takes you off guard. And like a vulnerable child you start questioning…questions of no reasoning, nothing intellectual, simple like we used to ask when we were kids. Bolted closely the lid of our simplicity and innocence we pretend and start believing ‘I am matured enough. Things don’t bother me. I am not a kid to get affected.’ But tell you honestly I do, it kills me sometimes not to behave like a child. What the hell if it sounds so uncanny or so unimportant? But the fact is yes I want to be pampered like a child, yes I want to act foolish think what you think.
‘Caravan Gujar gaya gubbar dhekhte rahe….’. Means we are destined to be losers at the end of the day? Our sweat, dreams, happiness, aspirations come to the stage where we turn and repent? The most ordinary things of life start bothering so much that you feel pain in the chest, a real pain irrespective of the fact whether it comes on the ECG or not. Right we are not mentally sick but don’t we feel like mad sometimes? Feel solace in insanity? When I see these so called insane people I wonder…aren’t they saner than us?
No its not some kind of insecurity, it is simply living like what we are! It is like brooding over things which may not exist physically, but there presence is felt every moment, like a shadow hovering in the background. You can’t be the best, still you try to be one? Proving every time, to this or that or trying too hard is taxing very very Herculean at times. What happens when you see your beliefs crumbling in front of your eyes? How you react when dreams shatter bit by bit, piece by piece? You shout? You cry? You bang your head? Yes? If it is yes then you are fighting, fighting to hold the situation in your grip. But what if you stop reacting? Simply coil and go to your shell? Feel dead in your cocoon. This is what is worst than dead. Living like a zombie. Falling deeper into the ditch of depression. What is needed then? A bag full of medication? Or a heart where you can lie all your fears. A hand which is strong enough to hold, or simply an assurance that ‘don’t worry I am here and nothing is going to be wrong?’
Have you ever felt yourself groping…for the shadows…in distance? Groping to take support. You just can not stand on your own! You need something to cling on, you need to shout, you are desperate to call…but pity is you can not. Strength is lost. That’s the time when you expect that someone that something understands your silence and hold you tight. Is it asking too much? Is being vulnerable, foolish? If you are not burning that doesn’t mean there is no fire. You need to ignite that fire. It works only till you realize but you simply turn into soot when you lose the sense of this burning fire.
Just some rants…in one of those blue moods.
Strange are ways of mind, and strangest is the way we follow it despite of our so-called strong will. Most of the times like a puppet we dance, according to its tunes. Happy…elated…satiate...mind says and we really feel that. Sad, mad and bad mind warns and we believe that. Closing eyes to the most obvious things we let ourselves go and flow towards the rush of mind.
This piece has no significant reason to write and no pressure of writing the best, or no intention of gaining the attention. One of those blue moods when you want to talk, or just babble irrespective of whether some one is listening or not. Thoughts as simple and as complicated as they start rushing in and out. When everything seems so perfect and calm, a bolt of these thoughts takes you off guard. And like a vulnerable child you start questioning…questions of no reasoning, nothing intellectual, simple like we used to ask when we were kids. Bolted closely the lid of our simplicity and innocence we pretend and start believing ‘I am matured enough. Things don’t bother me. I am not a kid to get affected.’ But tell you honestly I do, it kills me sometimes not to behave like a child. What the hell if it sounds so uncanny or so unimportant? But the fact is yes I want to be pampered like a child, yes I want to act foolish think what you think.
‘Caravan Gujar gaya gubbar dhekhte rahe….’. Means we are destined to be losers at the end of the day? Our sweat, dreams, happiness, aspirations come to the stage where we turn and repent? The most ordinary things of life start bothering so much that you feel pain in the chest, a real pain irrespective of the fact whether it comes on the ECG or not. Right we are not mentally sick but don’t we feel like mad sometimes? Feel solace in insanity? When I see these so called insane people I wonder…aren’t they saner than us?
No its not some kind of insecurity, it is simply living like what we are! It is like brooding over things which may not exist physically, but there presence is felt every moment, like a shadow hovering in the background. You can’t be the best, still you try to be one? Proving every time, to this or that or trying too hard is taxing very very Herculean at times. What happens when you see your beliefs crumbling in front of your eyes? How you react when dreams shatter bit by bit, piece by piece? You shout? You cry? You bang your head? Yes? If it is yes then you are fighting, fighting to hold the situation in your grip. But what if you stop reacting? Simply coil and go to your shell? Feel dead in your cocoon. This is what is worst than dead. Living like a zombie. Falling deeper into the ditch of depression. What is needed then? A bag full of medication? Or a heart where you can lie all your fears. A hand which is strong enough to hold, or simply an assurance that ‘don’t worry I am here and nothing is going to be wrong?’
Have you ever felt yourself groping…for the shadows…in distance? Groping to take support. You just can not stand on your own! You need something to cling on, you need to shout, you are desperate to call…but pity is you can not. Strength is lost. That’s the time when you expect that someone that something understands your silence and hold you tight. Is it asking too much? Is being vulnerable, foolish? If you are not burning that doesn’t mean there is no fire. You need to ignite that fire. It works only till you realize but you simply turn into soot when you lose the sense of this burning fire.
Just some rants…in one of those blue moods.
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